World's worst Christmas Present

Picture the scene. Little Tommy (aged 6) likes trucks and big diggers. A lot of boys his age do. To his small child eyes they are exciting and cool. When he grows up he wants to be one of 'the digger men', probably only part time though as he also wants to be a spaceman. Christmas time is approaching and he has seen lots of Playmobil toys about diggers and trucks and what not (part of their 'city' range). He carefully writes out his christmas list. Asking his Dad for a word or words that covers trucks and diggers and things like that so he can properly tell Santa what he wants his Dad says 'building site'. So little Tommy puts at the top of his list 'Building site Playmobil toys' and posts his list to Santa (1 Christmas Street, Lapland, ELF T0Y).

Come Christmas morning little Tommy jumps out of bed at the crack of dawn. Outside it is actually snowing, and under the tree there are dozens of brighly wrapped presents. A more perfect Christmas scene you could not imagine. Mum and Dad, still in their dressing gowns, pass little Tommy the first present. 'This one's from Santa and us, he left us a note saying its exactly what was on your list'. Little Tommy can barely contain his excitment and rips the wrapping of to find...

The Playmobil portaloo toy.

Little Tommy stares long and hard at the picture on the box, of a cheery man going into the loo, nodding at a man with a wheelbarrow. No truck or digger in the box. 'Thankyou Mummy and Daddy' he manages to say, for he is a polite boy, but indside something has died. For the first time life has dealt him a bitter disappointment and he knows with sickening certainty that it is the first of many. Outside, the snow turned into rain.

Thank you Playmobil, thank you for ruining Christmas.

(P.S. This was a genuine toy I saw in a shop on Saturday. To be honest though I doubt a kid would be disappointed to get it, all kids like talking about poo so the toy would probably be very popular).