Bolton
I have received an email from my good pal Bolton (the man, not the city, I'm sure I would be friends with the city if it ever decided to return my calls) asking why he has yet to be slagged off on Chimply the Best. Disgraceful attention seeking of course. But as he is soon to be a father and will have more important matters to consider I thought I would give in to this childish whining while he can do it, and give Bolton what he wanted.
Below are five glimpses into Bolton's life. 1 of these is made up. Can you guess which one? Maybe Bolton himself would like to leave a comment and tell us which one is false.
1. His mum has many photos of their pet dogs on display, but none of Bolton.
2. He was once pulled over by the police for going too slowly around a round about.
3. He once accidentally exposed his underpants to a five year old girl.
4. A bird flew in through a window and landed on his head during a GCSE exam.
5. He recently led his heavily pregnant girlfriend through a alligator infested swamp, at night, looking for a bus stop.
Who says wishes can't come true.
posted by Ian @ 2:22 pm
2 comments
2 Comments:
Hello there! This is my first (and maybe last) post here. Mainly due to the fact I'm much more interested in talking about me than talking about anything else.
Well technically a couple are wrong. I wasn't actually wearing underwear when the 5 year girl saw me. In my defence, I was in my own house, didn't realise we had guests, and was investigating the noise after getting out of the shower. Glad we've got that clear up. Ahem...
The one that didn't happen at all is the bird landing on my head. That sounds stupid. Unlike the other 4.
Christ, he can remember! I was half expecting him not too remember what he's done and what he hasn't.
The bird thing happened in a GCSE Science exam I did. A bird flew in, literally landed on this girls head. A teacher ran over, cupped into his hands and took it outside. Very surreal, especially in the silent, serious atmosphere of an exam.
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