Aztec Wise Men discover Map Making

I've started playing Civilisation II again after a good few months of leaving it. For those of you who know me...Or lived with me at the very least I'm sure you have been patiently waiting for me to 'come out' as a Civilisation II player. I just wished I'd been honest with you all sooner. Its the crack-cocaine of games.

For the non-geeks out there Civilisation II is a computer game that allows you to control a nation/civilisation for 6000 years of history. It is a massive, sprawling game in which you start with the founding of a small city state and can end up with a continent spanning empire, putting people on the moon and nuking your neighbours. One game can literally last days. It is a fantastic game especially to people like me with a God/Napoleon complex.

After I dug it out on a whim I decided to be the Japanese and play on the 'real' world map (as opposed to a world the computer randomly makes up). I didn't do very well. I made some elementary mistakes which meant that I fell well behind in technology compared to other civilisations (especially the Greeks damn them). I ended up having a pointless war with the Chinese which gave me a bad reputation with the rest of the world (ahhh, but is not all war pointless?), then was accidentally angered the Greeks who conquered half of my territory with frightening ease. I gave up when it became obvious that I was on the brink of becoming a 4th rate power in the world, appeasing the massive Greek Empire and their Chinese lapdogs. I refuse to live in a world like that!

Still, unlike the real world, I can start again and try and get it right. I really get carried away with it all though, in a similar way to players of the Championship Manager games do (Simon...). Before I know it I'm shouting at my pixelled army 'Repel the French you cowards' and 'I think I'll rename Washington as Ianstown'.

If only this game had existed earlier, I really feel it would of saved the human race a lot of bother. All those dictators and mad men who caused so much misery in their lust for power. If they had had Civ II they would of just sat in the bedrooms, living out their power crazed fantasies virtually. I sometimes worry that without this game I would end seizing power and MAKING EVERYONE PAY. Ahem. Don't worry though, even if this does happen I'm a pretty good ruler, conquering the world as a communist before creating a world wide democracy. Doesn't sound too bad does it?

By the way Lewis, if you're reading this, I named one of the Japanese cities on the Asian mainland after you. It was one of the first to fall against the Greeks. I blame you and your cowardly city on my eventual defeat. I will make you suffer for your betrayal.

ALL HAIL IAN!!!